It's so un-erotic, you could read it to sex offenders and call it therapy. At one point, a man's penis is referred to as "his essentials". It may seem kinky at first glance, but look again: this is a book that puts the "b" into anal. Basically, there's a lot of chat about bondage that doesn't happen. They are brief, sporadic and tamer than a Legoland tea party. This book is ubiquitously described as "erotic" something, evidently, is turning people on. It's like reading the legal transcript of a two-year planning application, in real time. They then spend 400 pages negotiating a contract for her to become his "submissive" – but don't let that sexy word fool you. (Why not "Grey Business Company Inc Ltd"?) Improbable virgin Anastasia meets wealthy businessman Christian Grey, CEO of "Grey Enterprises Holdings". Most people know the gist, at least, of the story. The world seems united in determination to get through the damn thing, comforted by the solidarity of communal effort – like the Blitz, or when everyone went on the Atkins diet. I assume they were all struggling as much as I was.
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